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Cold Kase Files: The Sock

Feb. 10th, 2009 | 12:07 am

Alright ya'll every once in a while I experience these completely unexplainable happenings. I'm sure there is some sort of crazy supernatural force around ONLY me! You all already know about the "missing cheese on my sandwich" back when I was a kid. No explanation other than the cheese completely disappeared. Well, things get weirder. The other day I was just about to get ready for my shower. This is a little personal but anyway, I had pulled my jammy pants down to about mid calf area when all of a sudden I heard some noise coming from the living room. I knew one of the pugs must have been getting into something so I quickly pulled my pants back up and ran out to the living room. As I ran towards Lizzy who was on the couch with her head burried in my milk glass, I noticed that my left sock was missing from my foot. I still had the right sock on though. I never did take the left sock off. I hadn't gotten that far with my undressing! This briefly boggled my mind as to how my sock got off my foot in the first place however, I was on my way back to the bathroom when I felt a "bunch" in the back of my underwear. I reached down with my hand towards the back of my undies and to my surprise my left sock was there! How the heck did that happen? I can't even begin to explain how my sock went from being on my foot to being in the back of my underwear!

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My Resolution: To Keep My New Years Resolution!

Jan. 1st, 2009 | 01:36 am


I was driving to the post office right before work today and happened to pass my supervisor on the street and I got this sudden impulsive urge to flip him off. I didn’t do it because it’s really not my style at all to do something like that but still the urge was there. I have this tendency to store up all of my anger and frustration inside me and then BAM I just let it all out at any given moment. I really didn’t think of any resolutions, but since it is officially a new year, I guess I could resolve to relax a little more. I will try my hardest to find some extra coping techniques and let my frustrations out as they arise so I don’t blow up. Maybe I’ll even step down from my soapbox a little more.

 

I was listening to my Ipod writing and thinking about how people try to make all of these specific resolutions all because it starts a new year. Like it’s a clean slate just because the year turns from one number to the next, but it seems a bit hard for me to be very specific mainly because by February I don’t even remember what my resolution was and also for the fact that longevity is not guaranteed. We are so lucky to even be granted another day.  One year, let alone one day can change our lives forever. I was listening to Radiohead on my Ipod thinking that great things can happen this year. It can be a year of change in a positive direction but also what’s around the corner is a surprise and it may not be for the best. My Ipod dropped to the floor and the song switched over to Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper. This song reminds me so much of my sister and I began to think that people in our lives may not be here by 2010. You just never know. We can only hope and pray. This lead me to a couple more resolutions. I’m not setting goals and as I said before I’m not going to be specific, but I do need to let my loved ones know just how incredibly much I love them more often and I need to pray more. I won’t just pray for myself of course, I will pray for all of you that I love, the people I’m not too fond of, our country and I should be more thankful for my blessings.

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Drivers License

Dec. 26th, 2008 | 02:54 am


I was looking through an old journal from HS. We all know how important it is to get your license in high school. Well, here's some short but sweet entries about that from my journal.

9-28-1998:  I stayed home from school today. I'm leaving to take my written test for my license! Wish me luck!.....Well, that didn't work, I failed :(   I'm going to take it again in a few hours. This time, reallly wish me double luck!.....Yahoo! I passed (the written test) :) I'm so happy about that.

10-6-1998:  I have forgotten to write about this, so to keep things up to date, I failed my drivers test. Actually, I was disqualified. My next appt wil be on Oct 21st at 1pm.....(I failed that one too, didn't see that car coming!).

12-7-1998:  Well, the New Year is just around the corner. I need to brainstorm on things I want in my life and hopefully I will follow through with some of them.
1. Get my license. (number one on my list hahaha)

It wasn't until I moved down here to Texas in 2000 that I actually got my license! ha!

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A Girl

Dec. 26th, 2008 | 01:54 am


This particularly negative writing was written during one of my horrible bouts of insomnia. The lack of sleep in itself will drive one crazy.

A Girl

I'm a girl who can be bitter, callous and vacant
And I make no apologies for who I am

I'm a girl who hates the daytime
And the light accompanying it
The way it wakes me every morning
The brightness pierces me and shrieks
"WAKE UP AND SUFFER ANOTHER DAY!"
So I can work, walk and shop amongst crowds of stupid programmed people
Telling me to smile or asking how my day is going
I want to scream JUST LISTEN TO MY SELF-PITY!

I'm a girl who much prefers the night
maybe because it's darker than I am
Or when it drops to 30 degrees out
It's more frigid than I am...maybe
It's slow, romantic and passionate
Everything I want to be but can't during the day
At night I'm alone and in hiding
I fulfill my craving for silence and it may sting a little at first
But I will soon go numb

The darkness and silence fall inward toward me
Wrapping me up like a blanket
And the world shrinks into a coffin sized box
That holds only me, just perfectly
And there I can worry about me, and worry about only me
I can fall asleep and forget about everything for a while
And I don't have to smile, and I don't have to have a good day

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Give You The Stars

Dec. 26th, 2008 | 01:32 am

This I wrote in HS for my creative writing final in which I scored 3 out of 3 A's for. It was originally just a poem but with Ter's help we turned it into a song that I had to sing in front of the whole class. It was scary at first and I felt so vulnerable in front of everyone singing this incredibly personal break up "pop tune" of a song! I remember afterwards though feeling so free and so proud of myself for it though. I also will never forget when I handed this to mom to read, her only comment which I now think is so funny was, "there sure is a lot of reaching going on in this song!" hahaha. Here goes:

Give You The Stars

You said you'd give me the stars, I didn't want them from you
You wanted another chance but you left me behind
And i've come too far, I better stand on my own
I better be real strong, I better be real strong

I reached out to you and you wouldn't respond
Then you reached out to me, and reached to the stars
You gave them to me, you gave me our world
Your lonely world, now I regret that fact
And you want me back

You said you had put up this wall
I couldn't understand what it is you needed
I couldn't understand
You told me that you, you couldn't live without me
And your wall tumbled down and I saw you cry
How can you be so weak?

I've come so far I can stand on my own
I can be so strong which you've always known
I can sing by myself and under the stars
I can dance with myself and in the dark
I've come so far

You said you can't stand the pain
That I suffered through when I was so alone and without you
I said there's no going back, your pain must heal
But I'll be your friend, help you through anything
I will stand by your side, you can count on me
But you need to take those stars, you need to follow that light that leads your life
Don't ever fade away

I reached out to you and got a response
you reached out to me and we reached to the stars
We gave us this world, our only world
Just don't regret this fact, because I've go your back

We said we'd walk through life just being friends
We'll live as friends and die as friends
We'll sing as friends and dance as friends
We'll cry as friends and laugh as friends
We'll be real strong, yeah we'll be real strong

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I'm Not Cheesey and Either is My Sandwich!

Dec. 11th, 2008 | 11:28 pm

So, something totally weird happened to me when I was a kid. About 7 or 8 years old. I think of it from time to time. Mainly because it boggles my mind. It's unexplainable. A complete mystery. I have never found nor heard a reasonable or logical answer to this puzzling incident. It was summertime and it was noonish and I was a bit hungry so I decided to go to the kitchen and prepare myself a sandwich. I was the only one in the kitchen at this time. I took out two pieces of bread, some lunch meat, mustard and a slice of cheese. After I prepared my sandwich, I picked it up, walked out of the kitchen, through the dining room and into the living area where I sat on the couch. I was watching tv, however I don't recall what I was watching. Anyway, I took a couple bites of my sandwich and thought to myself, "I don't taste the cheese!" I then peeled open my sandwich and to my amazement and confusion, the slice of cheese was no longer in my sandwich! I thought to myself "how weird, I must have forgotten to insert the slice of cheese." I got up and went back to the kitchen where I had prepared my sandwich. I found only an empty cheese wrapper resting on the counter top. This goes to prove that I had taken the slice of cheese out of the wrapper. I remember putting it in my sandwich! But, I stood there for a while second guessing myself. I looked on the kitchen floor-no cheese. I looked in the trash-no cheese. I looked around the counter tops- no cheese, the sink-no cheese. Then I thought to myself "what if the slice of cheese had slipped out the bottom of my sandwich as I walked to the living room?" I retraced my exact trail from the kitchen back to the living room of course keeping a careful eye on the floor in case the slice of cheese had slipped out and landed there. I remember even looking under the table and chairs as if the cheese had fallen from the sandwich, hit the floor and possibly gained enough momentum from the fall to roll and finally come to a stop under the table. Seems far fetched right? Well, I was determined to find out where it had gone. Once in the living room, I looked under the rug and under the cushions, but still, the cheese never turned up. Now, we didn't have any pets, so nothing could have gotten to it if it had fallen out of my sandwich. It would  still be exactly where it had landed. Only, it was no where. It's like, the slice of cheese completely vanished!

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Seattle Kerrville Comparison

Dec. 10th, 2008 | 03:00 am

Seattle

Damp designer boots, I wouldn't care if they got ruined.  Puddles that lay still need to be splashed. That gray sky with dark heavy clouds. An on-going mist grazed my face. Long green grass, too soggy to mow. Sidewalks pleasantly cluttered with slippery orange leaves.  Waiting at a bus stop only to have it pass me up, a great excuse for being late. Everyone can relate! Another half hour to wait! A never ending mug of "foo-foo" coffee, warm between my hands on a slow crisp day. Alone I go on a city ride. Schizo's up front, suits  in the middle, and gangs in the back.  Tall city lights reflect off the water. Fog inches above slick secluded streets like in the movies. Watching wooden homes go from new to old. Moss blanketed roofs add charm and a feeling of longevity!

 

Kerrville

Bright spongy flip-flops, ashy toes hanging out.  Mud so dried up it cracked. A blazing sun and muggy rain can suffocate. Yellow blades of grass on the ground, so sharp they could cut. Stay on the sidewalk or  fall into cactus. Gas guzzling rides, but have to have them. Everything so close, but too far to walk. Too hot for coffee, it could make me sweat. Cowboys in a Chevy block my view, local known names in a Mercedes, and so many Cholos driving hoopties. Short buildings expose rugged hills. Weeds grow in the middle of the street.  Limestone homes one after another. They only turn black around the edges.

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Robotic-Zombie Day

Dec. 10th, 2008 | 02:21 am

Every once in a while I find myself in the midst of one of those robotic-zombie days. The kind of day where everything and everyone seem so stiff and the day seems like it's in slow motion and there is little conversation. Then you see someone with a mechanical limb or someone with their arms stretched out in front of them mumbling incoherently and then your feelings of this robotic-zombie day are completely validated.  In fact, my mood right now is both itchy (because this cooler weather dries out my skin) and itching (as in a restless desire) for some excitement! I'm tired of being programmed like a robot. The same old routine. The same old stories. The same old answers. And I'm tired of being like a zombie. The stiffness, the lethargy, the lack of life. Maybe I ought to spring to life a little more.

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A Few Very Important Things:

Dec. 10th, 2008 | 02:05 am

* You must PRAY PRAY PRAY every DAY DAY DAY.  (God I love You. Thank You. Amen.)

* Make your bed daily. It's much more satisfying to hop into a made bed than an unmade bed. If possible, get your mom to make it. They know how to miter the corners just perfectly. You can expect to stay trapped in the sheets all night.

 * Keep your home tidy at all times in case unexpected guests arrive. If the unexpected guest happens to be an intruder, serial rapist or mass murderer, they most likely won't take notice of how dust-free your home is, but be sure to have weapons hidden throughout your home. Be sure they are accessible and FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

* Treat your pups well. They love you unconditionally.

*Be HYPER-vigilant in parking lots. They're nothing but death traps.

* Never drink and drive! I mean never drink alchol while driving or before driving. Drinking sweet tea while driving is okay though.

* Do NOT spit your bubblegum on the ground. Someone (like me) will step in it (happens to me all the time). People that spit their gum out on the ground should get the death penalty.  On a side note: I think I'd rather choke on my gum wad than have it fall out of my mouth while I'm talking to someone.

*If you see a scorpion in your home...SMASH IT! Don't try to be heroic by sparing its life.

*Every once in a while walk around your house naked. It feels like freedom.

* Learn to say your ABC's backwards because it really tends to impress people.

* Don't force someone to face their fears. It's not beneficial to do it for your convenience. They will do it when they're ready.  DON'T LET FEAR HOLD YOU BACK KASEY!!

* Tell people what you are thinking about at any giving moment. It may strike up a very interesting conversation.

* Listen to a dreamy CD before you fall asleep.It will take your mind to exciting places.

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Sister, Can You Hear Me?

Dec. 10th, 2008 | 01:30 am



Sister Sledge, this is me Twisty
I really miss you. Can you hear me?
Memories of you, I still share
You were gone so fast, it isn't fair.
You looked out for me when I was young
I loved you because we had so much fun.
There are constant reminders all around
In your Thunderbird, we cruised the town.
A long journey to Seattle
Through LA traffic we battled
Diamond studs through our nose
Visiting you when you worked at Lowe's
"All Through The Night" on a Cyndi Lauper CD
What an impact you had on me.
Remember when we'd party and sing,
I always felt safe under your wing.
Remember "Rebel Junkie", "Hey You," and "Shoot a Monkey?"
Jumping in the river with our clothes on at night
when my life seemed dark, you were my light.
When you got sick, you still kept your smile
I was torn up inside all the while.
Helping you when you were too weak to stand,
What I'd give just to hold your hand.
And the hardest memory of all
is when we shared our last phone call.
You said, "I'm being put on hospice, I'm dying."
I hung up the phone and couldn't stop crying.
Five days later you passed away
and even as times passes, I think about you every day
Eventhough it hurts, this was God's will
I'll see you again some day, I know I will.

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